Dear Ari (Advice Page)

So, I’ve been told by a few of whom I give advice to, that I am a pretty good at it!  I may or may not have difficulty taking my own advice, but that is aside the point…  As you know, I also have two moms, and I’ve experienced questions about sexuality myself! With that said, if you have any questions, or problems, about boys, girls, life, school, dealing with bullies, dealing with your sexuality, parents… Or, quite frankly, any problems in general, Ari is here! :) I will answer your questions ASAP!  Please remember, I am also just another kid trying to find her place in the world, I just happen to have unique problem solving skills. ;)

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15 thoughts on “Dear Ari (Advice Page)

  1. SecretlyPoetic says:

    Umm.. I have two moms also.. I’m getting bullied by it and it doesn’t help I’m adopted :( I don’t know what to do.. what do you think?

    -secretly poetic

    • Well, I know a lot about having two moms… :) Please know that your parents love and adore you, and it’s crazy hard for two women to adopt now a days. I know being bullied seems like the worst thing in the world, and it feels like it too, but being strong is the only thing that will help you through it. Know that the ones who bully, are the ones with the biggest problems. Now I am not saying you should have sympathy for these bitches, because what they do is wrong- Just know that you, my dear, are doing absolutely nothing wrong. Sometimes, it may seem hard to speak up, but the next time it happens- Please do not be afraid to stand up, and say; “Yeah! I am two moms! Anyone who has a problem with that can say it to my face. Stop being homophobic because I love who I am, and I’m proud of my moms!” :) If it ever gets worse, or even physical- you can always trust me if you need to talk, but contact an authority figure immediately. I am always here for you.

      Love, Ari.

  2. Ummm it starts with a g says:

    So I was up in Maine with my best friend ( she is blonde and pretty) in July and we hung out with these two girls. One was tall and pretty and she also lived in Reading and then there was another like really weird puerto rican girl who loved gummy bears and we went to the tall ones trailer and laughed, cried, ate whip cream, prank called, i ate waffles and was on the floor laughing, we drank soda out of wine glasses and drugged her brother. I really miss them and i want your advice on that sooo yaaaa

    • hahahaha!! I miss you guys, too- I MEAN, I OBVIOUSLY WASN’T THERE. So, um- random stranger, my advice would be to keep in touch with them as much as possible, and maybe try and plan a trip to visit one of them… Maybe the one in Puerto Rico. ;)

  3. Cassandra says:

    Um… I recently came out as bisexual to my school, and my parents, and I guess you could say that neither are supportive. I’m constantly bullied by older kids at school, and my parents don’t even try to understand why I am the way I am… Please help, Ari.

    • It’s very difficult for some people to understand this. Ignorance holds a large role in the lives of many people today, and it’s very hard to change that. I understand exactly what you are going through. A lot of bullies have problems of they’re own, and think it’s fine to take it out on people they think is an ‘easy target’. My best advice would be, to either- not let it get to you- or speak out about it. As for parents- I can only try my best to understand this situation. Your parents love you, and only want what’s best for you, but sometimes… They’re own judgement can get in the way of how they think of certain things. The best thing to do, would be to sit down, and talk to them. Tell them you are happy with who you are, and if they can’t accept that, that is their problem, because you can’t change who you are- and you NEVER should. With love, and care, I’m on your side.

      Love, Ari.

  4. Anonymous says:

    This is like… really bad. I know. So, I’m gay… and I’m in love with my best friend. He is perfect in every way, looks and personality, and he is super supportive of me! Duh. One problem. He’s straight. Of course. What should I do, Ari?

    • Ohhh, honey. This one is a toughie! Trust me though- I understand so much about this topic… As if I’ve lived it myself. *wink wink* I know how heart breaking it is, to see this person and just know how you feel about them inside. There is a decision you have to make though- You can tell this boy that you are in love with him, as honesty is incredibly important, but you would risk losing a very valuable friendship… Or don’t tell him, and keep the friendship the way it is. Now- I know, you are looking for more than a friendship- but if he’s straight, you want to respect that. It’s hard to deal with this, I know. If you tell him, one of two things will happen; “Oh my gosh. I’m in love with you, too- I just didn’t want to come out of the closet!” Or the more realistic one, sadly; “I don’t feel that way towards you, and I hope we can continue this friendship when things are less awkward.” I suggest you keep it in, and if you really need to tell, tell someone you trust, (who isn’t associated with the boy, whatsoever.) and through everything, I am here! :) Good luck, hon!

      Love, Ari.

  5. Anonymous says:

    So my friend just recently came out but the thing is she only came out to me. She says she wants to tell my other friends and her parents but she does’t know how. She wants to tell her friends soon and she is saying that she will with confidence but she still hasnt. i dont want to pressure and she doesnt know how to tell her parents. if you have any advice on that that would be great. also my friends and i dont really like her but we dont want to just stop being friends with her when she needs us and we dont want people to think we arent being her friend because she is gay. What should i do Ari?

    • If she wants to tell, but doesn’t know how, you should offer to help her. Odds are, she is scared as hell. Peer acceptance plays such a big role in society… Not to mention her parents. Remember, parents love you, and only want nothing but the best for you. They might be scared the world won’t accept her for who she is, or they might not accept her, themselves. She is who she is, and one way or another, they are going to have to learn to deal with that. The best bet would be to offer to stand by her side, as she tells her peers, and her parents… That might give her the confidence she needs. If you don’t want to be her friend, then the best thing to do is be honest with her… I don’t know what she has done, but obviously- don’t just drop her like a hot potato. You can tell, she has a lot to deal with right now, and the best thing to do is stay by her side; if you were ever her friend in the first place.

      Love, Ari.

  6. AnonymousPanda says:

    Hey Ari! I’m a huge fan! Anyways, I need some advice regarding my best friend. You see, I’m just an average guy with average friends… Except for one. This girl is truly amazing in every way. She is nice, beautiful, generous, funny, and all around the perfect friend. On top of that, she is the only person I trust! The problem is, I’ve recently discovered that I’ve fallen in love with her…. So my question is, how do I break it to her? And if it is the right thing to do, how do I get over her? I really do not want to lose my best friend.

    Thanks Ari!
    -AnonymousPanda

    • Hey there, AnonymousPanda!
      Oh my glob, ‘huge fan’ insinuates you actually take time to read and appreciate this blog! Thanks, dearie! God love ya’ :) So, I’ve been in this situation countless times before… From the girl’s side, obviously. I always manage to get over my overwhelming social awkwardness, and just tell the person, which- nevermind my horrific romantic past- is always the right thing to do (in MY opinion)! It avoids the whole “omg laik how culd u not tell meh!”
      This girl is your best friend, as you mentioned, so she already loves you, and cares for you. +5 points! The question you now have to ask yourself, “Do I risk the friendship?” yeah, it’s a tough one. Something that can certainly help with the decision, is a few factors;
      ~ Your romantic past. (Were you ever in a more than friends relationship? Did it end badly?)
      ~ Her signals. (Girls are the toughest creatures to decipher, but if you focus hard enough, you can tell when she is flirting, or friending, with you.)
      ~ Your relationship overall. (Do you guys have a typical bro/sis, bff relationship, or is it a playful, flirty relationship?)
      Before you make any major decisions, feel her out for a little while. If she is showing signs of interest, (Fun tip! Tell a REALLY CORNY joke that probably wouldn’t make anyone laugh, ever- if she laughs, odds are she likes you, or is in the 2% minority of people who actually found the joke funny.) then go for it! She might like you back, and boom! Relationship, Marriage, BABIEZ!! I mean, no. Abstinence.
      Make sure to not get your hopes up, though… Always; Hope for the best, but expect the worst. And if she is interested in another guy, please just avoid the situation ALL TOGETHER. I do NOT want to be responsible for a fight, not even a scratch.
      Haha, please let me know what you decide to do, and how it goes! Good luck, buddy! :)

      Love, Ari.

      • AnonymousPanda says:

        Well, I thought about what you said and I have decided that I won’t tell her. I thought about it and realized that I like what we have and I don’t think that I want it to change. Thanks for the advice! It stopped me from doing something that could have resulted to be very bad.

        Blessings, and I can’t wait till you start blogging again!

        -AnonymousPanda

      • Haha, okay! :) I wish you the best of luck with everything! I hope your special lady stays special, whether in friendship or love. Also, these things change- a few months you may look back and say; “Woah! I can’t believe I liked my best friend like that! Good thing I didn’t tell her!” Feelings are unpredictable, and friendship is an endless roller coaster! But everything happens for a reason.

        Same! Haha, soon… Don’t fret! *lolz*

        Love, Ari.

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